I have been in five domestic violent relationships. Four as a young person and one as an adult. For so long I took on the superficial judgements - Its her fault, she deserved it all. I didn't use my fist, nor did I hold the knife, the pillow or barricade the exits - All I did was cry and try to escape. When I look back, only two were charged. One I was too scared to call the police and the other two, the police shrunk away because there were children involved. The fatel mistake in all of it is that they next one thought, If he could get away with it - so can I. No one will believe her if they didn't before. The police response was, "They need hard evidence" - He had openly admitted it to them - How much do you need? So if that wasn't enough, I though we were safe, the custody battle began. No safety, no questions - only at me, my sanity, how perfect I am as a mother. The childrens own voices opressed, twisted and distorted. The oppression, degradation and evidence torn to pieces. Not only was I humiliated in those relationships, but now he can braisenly walze into a court room admit that he was violent to me and the children, yet no safety concern. Dare I utter "supervised" and I am percieved to being a hostile parent. So here is my wish, my idea and dream - Take away his blood from my hands, open your eyes and please make their future free from violence. It would be a happy moment to here them complain about a rise in taxes or a fall in the job market than to witness another episode of violence. Because my home must be disclosed and I am not aloud to move, I don't know whether I'll become one of those homicide stats, so if this is my last breath - Please free them from violence.

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